I hate you!
If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.
When it comes to relationships, I hate you; at least when compared to my relationship with the Lord. He takes first place and when a choice has to be made between him or anyone else, then I choose him or his will in my life.
Don't take me wrong, I love the people in my life; but no one is more important to me than the Lord and I will do my best to show it and not compromise my relationship with the Lord. However, I'm not always successful in making the right choices, but I do try.
The apostle Paul, when speaking about someone who wishes to marry; he does say that in doing so, that they will have trouble in the flesh. (He doesn't go into any details as to what these troubles are, nor just what troubles God will allow, before it becomes sin). There is a sharing of your heart and time that has to take place between the Lord and one's spouse (or any type of relationship); sometimes knowing how to divide yourself between these two relationships isn't always easy and disappointment is almost a certainty.
And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
-Genesis 2:18 In God's scheme of things it appears that man needs help to accomplish or help to stay on track with God's will. (Not only man, also the woman). This is what a help meet is: Someone who will surround and protect or even save the other person from attack so the other can stay on course and accomplish the task at hand.
There is nothing within the term "help meet", that suggests weakness or something inferior; rather it suggests someone who is equal, but different. Equal also in desire, to see the other person be all they can be, so together they can see God's will or purpose completed. This is God's purpose or definition of a help meet.
Unfortunately, in most relationships, each person seems more interested in promoting themselves, rather than helping others get promoted. This is why fornication, adultery, homosexuality and lesbianism is outside of the idea of what a help meet is; because to allow someone to violate God's will or to be a part of helping them to violate God's will, isn't what a help meet is or called to be.
Love for God, should cause you to back away from (or hate) anyone who tries to cause you or who would encourage others to prevent you from following after God's best for you and your relationship with the Lord.
I have seen many ministries fall short, because of husbands and wives not being on the same page with one another, when it comes to the call of God on their lives. Look at Adam and Eve; Eve was not acting like a help meet when she allowed the serpent to deceive her against the will of God and then turned around and got Adam to partake with her in her sin. Adam too is to blame, for not taking his authority and stopping the lies of the serpent coming against his wife and the known will of God. And, just like Adam; many men are failing to protect their wives against the wiles of the serpent, for fear of losing their wives. So instead of using their authority to stay on course with God's will, they compromise and their ministry starts to fall short.
Some husbands and wives use manipulation; rather than guard and protect one another, one or both manipulate each other to take advantage of the other persons love for them, causing the other to compromise their integrity or position with the Lord.
Whenever there is a relationship of any kind, there is the possibility that someone will feel that their desires are more important than you following God's will. This is why Jesus says we are to hate those around us if we are going to be his disciple, not to be mean; but rather not to be compromising in our relationship when it comes to the will of God.
So don't ask me to disobey the Lord, if I love you; because you're going to hear me say, "I can't, because I hate you when it comes to the Lord."